Romantic Getaway Review – Elephant Hide Lodge

Nestled on the cliff, overlooking the Knysna lagoon, Elephant Hide is the perfect destination for a romantic weekend retreat.

The four Lagoon Suite cabins are positioned to ensure privacy and uninterrupted views from the rooms and decks.

Soon after entering, once you manage to divert your attention from the sprawling views, you realise that the cabin has all the ingredients for a very intimate stay. Intelligent design and comfort seamlessly overlap to create 45m2 of Barefoot Luxury.

The inherent instinct to unpack and settle-in on the outside deck with a glass of wine may momentarily be overshadowed by the inspired urge to get naked and naughty. Either way, the King Size bed is an excellent place for an intimate celebration of your arrival. Whether you are “celebrating” or taking a moment to relax after your journey, leave the curtains open and allow the majestic voyeuristic views of the Knysna lagoon to free you from your inhibitions.

At the end of a relaxing day you can watch the sunset from the spa bath, navigating your sundowners through a white blanket of foamy bubbles. It’s the perfect time to connect with each other and create a lasting memory…especially when you press the spa button and realise you poured in too much bubble-bath!

The next morning you can start your day together in the double shower before you make your way to the main lodge for breakfast…or back to the bed.

Elephant Hide is the kind of place where you leave stress and self-confidence issues at the door to keep each other company while you and your partner rediscover each other and how life is meant to be lived.

* For newlyweds, Elephant Hide offers a Winter & Summer Honeymoon package.

Sinz Rating
5/5The views, privacy and spa bath guarantees to inspire a stay filled with romance and sexy time!

Where is it?
Elephant Hide is situated in Knysna, the heart of the Garden Route. Approximately 5 hours drive from Cape Town

Expect to pay anywhere from R1700 to R2200 per couple, however there are often specials on Groupon etc.

-          Flat screen TV with select DSTV channels
-          iPod docking station
-          Honesty bar / Tea & Coffee making facilities
-          Small kitchenette with fridge (no microwave)
-          Air-con  & Under floor heating
-          Wi-Fi
-          Spa bath, King Size bed with 100% Percale bedding

Other than breakfast, meal requests can be catered for, but we suggest trying some of the amazing restaurants in Knysna.

What to pack
Only the bare necessities are required. Chances are you will spend your time indulging in activities that require very little clothing, if any.

Contact Elephant Hide Lodge
+27 44 382 0426

Elephant Hide View

Turn-on your sex life with Load Shedding

Most of us are literally and figuratively in the dark during load shedding, fumbling about for something to do. Inevitably, by the time we stumble upon that defining boredom vanquishing “A-Ha!” moment, the lights go back on and 2 hours have been wasted sitting around. We think it’s also the perfect time to get intimately creative.

Here are our tips to make the most of load shedding (we are seriously resisting the temptation to turn this into a pun)

1. Surprise!
The next time the power goes out take advantage of those few dazed seconds by getting naked as quickly as possible. One minute you have your clothes on and the next minute you walk up to your partner naked in the dark…..surprise!

Tip: Wear something that’s really quick and easy to dispose of. Disrobing layers of clothes with buckles may result in a confused “What are you doing?”, which could turn “surprise!” into “a lame excuse”

2. It’s more than a schedule
With your partner, assign various positions or tasks to perform according to the schedule and create your own load shedding sex calendar. For example:

Stage 1 = Candlelit bath followed by massage
Stage 2 = Whipped Cream & Oral Sex
Stage 3A = “69” followed by “Cowboy”
Stage 3B = Sex Toys & a position we haven’t tried before

Tip: Should you email each other, do not make the subject line “Load Shedding Schedule” if you are one of those people who like to keep their colleagues informed of daily Eskom updates.

3. For the daring!
Power is often restored earlier or later than expected. If your inner bravery is keen to experience a rush of adrenaline, get intimate shortly before the power is due to come on. Make sure you’re in a place where you could potentially be exposed in all your glory. Once the lights go on you may find being intimately exposed quite a turn on. Then again, you may run for cover leaving a trail of giggles behind.

Some examples of exposed areas:
-          On your balcony or in the garden / pool
-          In a room with a “view” while the curtains or blinds are open. Probably the best option for winter.
-          A public place, but there are laws and safety issues involved, so we will leave this up to your own discretion

Tip: Please be mindful of family and pets. You may think you look really great in the moment, but family and pets tend to be emotionally scarred when walking in on your “moment”.

4. Naughty Alerts
Instead of sending your partner a text, “power out again!” accompanied by angry faces, agree that if the power goes out during office hours you will alert each other by sending a naughty partial selfie.

Tip: Office hours generally means it’s during the day…in the office. Careful where you take pics!

5. All bets are off!
Turn the unreliability of the grid into a game. Here is an example of what you could send each other:
“I bet you we will experience Stage 2 load shedding tomorrow. If I win then you have to join me for dinner at a restaurant of my choice without wearing any underwear”

Tip: Please note, gambling can be addictive!

Now we can all look forward to load shedding or shall we say shedding our… clothes.

Naked at Home


So, it’s late Saturday afternoon and you step out of the shower, clean and refreshed. It’s still a while before you need to get dressed to go out. You go to the kitchen, unpack the dishwasher and pour a glass of wine.

You lean over the basin and open the kitchen window. A cool burst of air rushes in and your nipples burst out the open window to a theatrical Sound of Music chorus in the background, while your neighbour cycles past politely greeting… Okay, so the latter may have been a slight exaggeration, but the point is that as you go about your normal routine you realise you are still naked.

A brief inexplicable emotion of shy pleasure washes over you as you hesitantly walk back to the couch. Now, fully conscious and focused on being naked, warning questions start to pour into your mind. “What if someone knocks on the door?”, “What if there’s a fire and you need to run out?”, “WHAT IF, a neighbour sees you through the window?” Your heart starts to beat just a little faster at the thought of being exposed, but instead of panic, it feels…good?

One can psychologically debate the topic academically, but the fact remains, many people love walking around the house naked. There are even groups on Facebook and the Net dedicated to “walking around the house naked”.

After doing some research online and …erm…offline, here are our 5 top reasons for letting it all loose at home:

Get to know your body
Unless you sleep in the nude and have daily sessions of extended intimacy, most of us probably spend a total of an hour naked every day. During this time we are showering, bathing or getting dressed and as result we pay very little attention to the intricacies of our body. Most things in life have become a rush and the latter is often not an exception.

When you really think about it, your other half and pets probably spend more time studying your body, in all its glory, than you do.

Prolonged periods of exposure and a few strategically placed mirrors would inevitably provoke you to start paying attention to yourself. You are bound to take a critical or perhaps, complimentary look at yourself. Maybe you notice a patch of hair you realise needs urgent removal or trimming, maybe you see an area that can do with a little definition or maybe you realise that you actually have a few really stunning assets.

For so many reasons, it makes sense to know your body better than anyone else.

Comfortable and confident
At first walking around naked may feel awkward or even a little perverse, but you need to accept that you were born naked and it’s completely natural *pun intended* to give the clothes a rest. Some of us aren’t comfortable with the idea. Often getting undressed and preceded by a ceremonial “can you turn off the light?”

Spending time at home alone in your birthday suit with no one to judge you is a great way to gain intimate self confidence. It ties in with the point above. The more time you spend being naked, the better you get to know yourself and the more comfortable you will become being starkers’.

Eventually slipping out of your clothes, getting dressed in fresh air will be a very “normal” thing to do and it’s bound to have a positive impact in the bedroom…or anywhere else in the house for that matter…

A relaxing sense of freedom
Stripped of all clothing at home, in your sanctuary, can give you a sense of freedom by letting you briefly escape from the social boundaries that sometimes limit and constrict our inherent nature.

Let the stress of the day fall to the floor with your clothes, while you indulge in your “freedom” with some good tunes and happy thoughts. However, try not to dance….for some people dancing without the support clothing offers can turn into a very dangerous event. We said that you should enjoy your body in all its glory, not become a danger to yourself and the décor around you.

It’s a great way to cool down!
Summer is on the way, or so they say, and there is no better way to cool down than sitting or lying in front of a fan or air-con on hot stuffy summer’s day.

Great foreplay!
Being naked together is always fun! This is no exception and it can turn into some really awesome foreplay!

Our suggestion is to make a date of it. If possible, dedicate one morning, afternoon or evening to being in your birthday suit. Some couples have a day in the week, for example, “Naked Sunday”. Once you have had a shower, spend the time together making breakfast, cooking dinner or watch a movie together. Regardless of how you do it, the idea is to enjoy each other’s company while being completely exposed, doing normal routine things around the house. “No!” fixing the gutters and gardening doesn’t quite fall into this category….unless…..each to their own we suppose!

If neither of you are comfortable being completely vulnerable, or if you want to just want to have some fun, sit down at opposite ends of the table and as you are about to eat, take off your all your clothes, except for your top. The idea is that you will both “appear” clothed, but you will both know that underneath the table you are completely naked…see how long you can have dinner without thinking about it and without getting just a little aroused…*in the event that you have pets, the kind that likes to beg at the table, we advise you to make sure they aren’t around. Especially if they like Vienna’s as a little treat*

At the end of the day, if you are still not comfortable to indulge in this activity then ask that special person in your life (no, not your mom!) to read this post. Offer to leave the house while they give it a bash on the condition that they send you proof. Okay, we admit it’s a cheap way to get a nude selfie of your other half, but hey, we’re all about foreplay!

The “Don’t”s of planning a Romantic Evening

With so many aritcles on how to create the perfect romantic evening, we thought this is a refreshing post, sent in by one of our readers…written for guys, by a guy…

There is no denying that although men have a knack for over complicating a matter, very often we excel at applying simplistic genius when it comes to relationships. Let’s face it….it doesn’t always yield the results we expect and more than often leaves us with a couch and a blanket that’s too short.

I know….the logic is simple…..”I get turned on when she strips for me, so I am sure she will get turned on if I strip for her…” uhm…….do you see where I am going with this?

My age has lent itself to some years of experience and as result I have a “fair” understanding of where we could go wrong when it comes to planning a romantic evening.

Okay, the first question is….what is a Romantic Evening? Ya…for us, romance is having your lady pitch up naked with a 6 pack of beer, FHM under one arm and a choice of porn or rugby as foreplay….for “them” it’s something completely different….the following list of “Dont’s” will increase your chances of spending a romantic evening……together.

  • Don’t start the day by telling her you dig it that she is wearing that blouse that’s gotten too small for her because it shows off a “lekker” cleavage!
  • Don’t tell her you hope she doesn’t have plans tonight, because you want to “Give this Kama Sutra thing a bash!” It’s about Romance, not Sex, besides….over promise, under deliver is never a good thing…
  • Don’t ignore her the whole day thinking she can read your mind…although it would appear that women have this ability, it’s a myth, one they have gotten us to believe only when it counts..
  • Don’t send her an email describing in graphic detail what you plan to do to her later that night and how you think she has the best tits in town…..although the latter could be true and flattering in concept…women generally don’t find our descriptive choice of words romantic. When it comes to inspiring romance, men aren’t exactly gifted when it comes to describing the act love. What we think could be a Mills & Boons masterpiece, usually ends up being budget porn.
  • Don’t send her a text telling her how the thought of the evening has a significant effect on your current state of anatomy….she doesn’t want to know that you unable to walk properly at work, especially if she has a reservation about a female colleague in your office….women tend to be able to take situation and provide an outcome way before Nostradamus catches wind of it. Again….the topic is ROMANCE….which brings me to the next point.*no pun*
  • Don’t send her a pic of your dangly bit taken in the office toilet with the caption “Check what I got planned just for you later!!”…..not quite the same as when it comes from the opposite sex…once she figured out what the pic actually is, she is probably going to be reminded of a recent episode on Animal Planet….not what you’re going for…
  • Don’t, when she gets home, shout “Howzit babes, I was just checking out the latest score while I waited for you to come home” while you are sitting in the lounge clipping your toe nails, dispensing them in the empty beer bottle.
  • Don’t run a bath with only hot water and forget to tell her.
  • Don’t serve her food out of a box thinking she will be pleased that you didn’t dirty the dishes and then after supper jump up and say “Okay, come let’s go work of this meal *nudge*” …..

When it comes down to the final act of the evening…..

  • Don’t surprise her with a tacky song and you wobbling around confused by rhythm while you try to take off your clothes. It’s a romantic evening, not a comedy festival…besides…guys in underwear only looks good when airbrushed in Men’s Health…..not in real life…..

And now….for many guys….after all is said and done…there is the dreaded CUDDLE, however……

  • Don’t get up and shout “Jislaaik, f**it man, that was awesome!!!” only to round it off with a kiss on the forehead and “Love you babes, sleep well, i’m gonna go check out the F1 highlights. You are tired hey? You mos not into F1?” ……#fail….

lastly…if you read this and your lady doesn’t mind the “don’ts” because it’s the “thought that counts”….MARRY HER!!!!!

Sinz expands into social media with a big “PoP”

Yes, we agree, the title for this post is reminiscent of seeing someone so good looking you struggle to breathe, only to find your eyes dragged down by a major anti-climax as a piece of spinach stares back at you when they smile for the first time. We would have preferred to end it with “BANG!”, the perfect smile…

Our philosophy from the start has been to take our time in everything we do to make sure we do it right so that you, the customer, can have the best possible experience. Come to think of it, almost the same way great foreplay leads to great sex.

As we reached our milestones we eventually got to the point where it was time to expand into social media. We decided our entry into the latter domain would be Facebook and so we approached the fantastic team at iMod Digital to help us create a page.

As usual, the guys at iMod did a fantastic job and we were ready to engage with our customers. We spent a couple of weeks researching similar FB pages and found that a common denominator was the fact that most other companies seemed to use their pages to promote their products. We decided to take a different approach by focusing on content.

We believe, although intimate, consensual sex is fun and exciting. We want to use social media to take the stereotypical sleaze out of sex to get people comfortable about making love, exploring their fantasies and to openly talk about sex. One way to do this is by engaging with people.

We outlined our content strategy and started to populate our FB page. It became apparent that it would be a good idea to advertise our page on FB to let people know we have arrived!

After three “denied” ad campaigns we eventually received an automated email advising us that if we continue to try and advertise, our page could be deleted. We were notified that Sinz was not allowed to advertise on FB as it was a direct violation of their advertising policy whereby no adult sites, content or toys are allowed to be promoted.


We contacted FB directly to find a resolution, but they are not open to negotiation. Given how many minors are on their platform and if you take into account that some people may find anything “sex” related offensive, we can see where they are coming. However, their take on this topic leaves a lot to ponder.

Considering that over a billion people use FB, it concerns us that the vast majority of users are not given freedom of choice in terms of what they “Like”.

While most of the major social media players in the market have allowed a certain standard of sexual content, we found it hard to believe that FB did not want their users to post anything related to sex and that they were so against it.

A few searches on FB quickly led us to pages filled with explicit nudity and we found a vast amount of adult toy companies. The latter findings left us a little confused. Clearly explicit or potentially offensive content is allowed. With the amount of resources and technology at their disposal we can’t believe that they are unable to put strict automated control measures in place that would prevent the vast majority of such content to be posted.

Is it thus a case of being too lazy to put proper control measures in place regarding what minors and the easily offended are exposed to? Or, is it simply a matter of: “We don’t mind you privately posting naked pics of yourself and talking about sex as long as nobody complains”?

FB generates the majority of their revenue from advertising and if you look at how freely adult toy stores tastefully advertise in media, it doesn’t make sense why FB hasn’t explored this as an option.

At the end of the day, we may not agree with their policy with reference to promoting healthy intimacy, but we respect it nonetheless.

PoP by our page and tell us what your thoughts are on the matter.

How to enhance your Intimacy by Introducing Adult Toys

Let’s be honest, most of us started out exploring the physical side of sex with what nature gave us, not with a dildo or a fresh baked apple pie…well…hopefully not. As we become comfortable in our sexuality, we gain more confidence in our bedroom skills and remain satisfied with the physical tools we have been equipped with. The mere thought of your partner using an object that has been engineered to provide maximum stimulation or pleasure can be a severe blow to confidence and ego, leaving most people unwilling to even try it, let alone discuss it.

On the other hand, if sex toys can provide such exhilarating orgasms, why deprive each other from such an incredible experience? Let’s take a closer look at this:

Why sex toys?

The main purpose of sex toys is to enhance your sexual experience, inadvertently taking you and your partner to a new level of intimacy. Sex toys have been stereotyped as the ideal companion for singles, giving an impression that they are there to “replace”, not “enhance”. If the latter is your view on the topic, then consider the following:

  • You may agree that a romantic candlelit dinner can set the mood for an evening of passion
  • You may agree that having a bath or shower together and slowly soaping each other can be quite erotic
  • You may agree that using a scarf to tie together your partners hands or blindfolding them can be quite a turn-on
  • You may agree that using some whipped cream or ice cream on each other can lead to some yummy experiences
  • You may agree that giving or receiving a massage with some baby oil can set the mood, especially if you are both naked

If you agree with any of the above, then subconsciously you are already open to the suggestion of using sex toys, or rather, you are comfortable with the notion of enhancing your sex life.  Getting creative adds a new exciting dimension that invites us to explore the pleasures of sex and intimacy, exactly what sex toys are meant to do. It’s about giving and receiving.

Once you realise the mutually beneficial potential that “sex toys” and “mood setters” have to enhance your sex life, the next question is:

How do I introduce sex toys into my love life?

Step 1 – Communicate – Be subtle and respectful

Being able to openly discuss your sex life in terms of what you like is one of the biggest assets a couple can have in their relationship. Understandably, if you do not have such open communication this could be a difficult topic to tackle.

There is no right way to approach this subject, but here are some tips:

  • Be respectful toward your partner at all times
  • Respect extends beyond what you say, it also includes understanding that as individuals we all have different preferences and things that turn us on
  • Be careful how you start your discussion. For example, don’t say: “Are you happy with our sex life?” or “Would you consider or be interested in us getting a sex toy?” It may sound like a loaded question and that you are possibly not satisfied.
  • A good way to approach the topic is to subtly ask your partner’s opinion. If you come across a sex toy supplement in a magazine, see if there’s a couples toy review and then ask your partner what their thoughts are on the particular item.
  • It’s important that you approach this subject when the time is right. Generally people are more honest and open to new ideas after an intense intimate experience or during a romantic evening when the overall tone is intimacy.

Step 2 – Start with the basics – Lingerie, Lubricants & Oils

Although these “mood setters” are strictly speaking not classified as sex toys, they are a great way to subtly introduce sex toys.


The whole idea of lingerie is two-fold. Lingerie can help a woman feel more confident as they are usually designed to accentuate your best assets. In turn, sexy lingerie laced with confidence is guaranteed to visually turn on your partner. The biggest benefit to wearing lingerie, other than inspired confidence, is the creativity & fantasy it sparks. Even if it’s not a French Maid outfit, lingerie has the ability to tease the imagination and to bring fantasy to reality.

Lubricants & Oils

Ask anyone that’s tried it before, few experiences come close to the silky feel of quality lubricant when used during foreplay or intercourse. If you both enjoy oral sex, why not surprise your partner with a flavoured lubricant? Just make sure that you use a water based lubricant when using condoms.

Eventually you can introduce massage candles. These candles have special wax that melts at low temperatures and once melted it can be used as massage oil. To make sure it’s not too warm, pour some of the melted wax into your hand. If the wax causes you to run out the room screaming for ice….then you probably grabbed the wrong candle out the cupboard…

Step 3 – Progress – Couples Toys

Once you are both comfortable to progress to the next level, you can start exploring couples toys.

Cock Ring

Although not so subtle when it comes to the name, these toys are ideal to begin with. The idea of a “cock ring” is pretty straight forward. It fits around the base of the penis affecting the blood flow to provide a harder erection and to prolong climax for him. In turn, most rings are designed to stimulate her while making love. Vibrating rings are amongst the most popular.

To get the most out of a cock ring, you need to try different positions to find one that provides maximum stimulation.

Intimate Massagers & Masturbators

Intimate massagers focus primarily on clitoral stimulation and for guys there are a wide variety of masturbators available. These toys are a fantastic addition to foreplay by using it on each other. Tease your partner to the point where they can barely hold on, then let your lust take over.

Couples Vibrators

There are some truly innovative products out there that are specifically designed to be enjoyed by couples. The Lelo Lyla is a remote-controlled bullet vibrator that allows your partner to control the vibrations by applying movement to the remote, even at a distance!

This toy can be a lot of fun and when you have fun, inhibitions begin to dissolve.

*At this point many men realise that the use of a vibrator helps her climax quicker than normal and in some cases it may even be the first time she has an orgasm, in which case it’s important not to feel insecure. Take a minute and understand that these toys have hours of research behind them and were designed for maximum stimulation. It’s unrealistic to expect you to stimulate her in the same way some toys can….let’s face it….you can’t vibrate at ridiculous speeds and you do not have all sorts of strategically placed knobs and protrusions coming out of your penis. It is of utter importance that you realise and appreciate the fact that you have just found another way to pleasure your partner and although she enjoyed it, she is more than likely more thrilled at the prospect that you were the one in control of this experience and that she shared it with you.

Step 4 – Evolve, Enjoy & Trust!

Eventually your sex life will evolve to a whole new level of intimacy and comfort. This exciting journey will only be successful if you trust each other and respect each other.

They key is to enjoy it and be creative! When your mind becomes sexually creative, it opens you up to try new things.

These days life has an ability to consume us and often when we have been in a relationship for a long time, we forget how pleasurable sex can actually be. Sex should always be fun and exciting! Trying new things will make sure you keep the passion going and it may just remind some of you how much you actually enjoy sex! ;)

Technology & Sex

Over the last decade we have become comfortable with the ever-changing pace of technology. As result, its impact on certain aspects of our lives has gone unnoticed. How many of you have ever given thought to how technology has influenced your sex life?

During the late 90’s with the birth of IRC (internet Relay Chat), cybersex was born. Assuming we don’t need to explain “online chat”, you were able to chat to another person in private and let them know how you aim to please them. The advantages were great!

Although almost the same as phone-sex, you didn’t have to actually talk to the other person. Sure, what you believed to be a supermodel on the other end may well have been a very lonely middle aged biker named Bob… but who cares? As long as Bob kept his true identity a secret and made you believe that it was a young Demi Moore lookalike taking your cyber clothes off, it guaranteed a happy ending. Yes, Cybersex was a term fondly thrown about during divorce proceedings due to its popularity with bored housewives and quickly secured its psychological place next to porn addiction.

Cybersex evolved with the arrival of webcams. Suddenly, that awkward moment after your interactive masturbation session where you realise you just had an intimate moment with a computer, was gone. You were now able to justify the entire experience by being able to interact with a “real” person.  Due to the lack of Internet infrastructure at the time, South Africans had more joy with phone sex thanks to Cell Phones and 087 sex line numbers (remember those?).

Since then our advancement in telecommunications and mobile technology has given local South Africans easy access to sex via a wide variety of media, be it online novels & mags, late night tv or just plain old Internet porn.

But what about actual sex, sex that doesn’t require a free hand to operate a keyboard, mouse, remote control or mobile handset?

Online dating may seem like old news, but it is taking the world by storm and continues to grow at an exponential rate. Professional agencies can guarantee accurate profiles and give you the opportunity to evaluate your potential partner before actually meeting. Sure, there are many risks with online dating, but it has become an easy alternative for many.

Emails, sms, BBM, Whatsapp & Facebook have all given us a platform to get to know other people better, a platform that allows for private flirting that may eventually lead to a juicy confession of lust. Let’s admit it. Most of us know of someone who had an inevitable sexual encounter with, what started out as, just a “friend” on BBM or FB.

Given all the above, technology has boosted our confidence by means of a semi-anonymous approach to sex.

Sex toys have also benefited greatly from technology. Online shopping has made sex toys discreetly accessible to just about everyone. It’s no longer necessary to disguise yourself and to be armed with an excuse in case someone sees you when you want to go shop for a toy. Gadgets and social media aside, technology has allowed for sex toys to become safer, more realistic, fun and innovative.

Take for example the Mojowijo. This device turns your ordinary Nintendo Wii remote into a vibrator by attaching to the accessory port. The “wii-brator” can even be controlled via Bluetooth.

“Time for bed kids, Mommy wants to play Wii!” just doesn’t sound as convincing…

On the other hand, the creators of Oh-MiBod came up with something that seems to be more in tune with what people want. Their vibrators are designed to work with most portable mp3 players, specifically the iPod. Once you connect your iPod to the Oh-MiBod, it will vibrate to the beat of the song that’s playing. Although they are selling very well, we suspect they are also responsible for an increasing amount of trance / house music fans.

As much as our sex lives have been enhanced by gadgets, companies like Real Doll, is getting disturbingly close to eliminating the need for sex with an actual person. Their lifelike dolls are made from a silicone blend with fully articulated skeletons. With an average price tag of R54 000 you can customise just about every feature, even down to the make-up. 

Before you ask, we did consider ordering one, but we felt too bad to keep him/her locked up in the stockroom…admittedly, they are so realistic some of them are really quite hot, but still….no….

Technology & Sex have come a long way and it has impacted all of us in some way. At the end of the day all that matters is that your intimate lifestyle remains healthy, fun and above all, exciting!

Office Party Sexyquette

It’s a time of year filled with excitement at the prospect of holidays and gifts. It’s a time filled with all sorts of celebrations in particular the much anticipated and equally dreaded Office Party.

During this time, countless experts claim their annual fifteen minutes of fame by blogging or tweeting about proper etiquette when attending your staff function. We feel the need to jump on the bandwagon and to share some etiquette with you, etiquette on how to be naughty! Or rather, as we prefer to call it, OPS (Office Party Sexyquette)!

We are not going to go into the various aspects on how you should behave in a respectful manner and how wearing a dress tight enough to simulate cling-wrap while wrestling your lingerie for skin realty is as good as wearing a large sign saying “One Tequila, Two Tequila, Yours!”.

No, we believe you are more than capable of knowing what’s right and besides, as mentioned above, there are enough blogs out there to guide you.

Preparation & Outfit

Start the day of the Office Party by telling your partner something like: “I hope there is an empty office where we can sneak off to in case we need a break from everyone”. Although subtle, it builds some excitement by hinting at your intentions. However you do it, make sure you are both on the same page, unless the other person is your intended partner in which case a little flirting will do the trick.

We obviously don’t have to tell you that a shower or bath, some personal grooming and clean set of clothes are all non-negotiable for the party….

When selecting your outfit, proper OPS for the ladies would be to wear something sexy that highlights your best assets, but also allows for easy intimate access. Being summer, a dress is perfect! Sexy lingerie is a must! For those of you that love the thrill of being a bit more risqué, we recommend you to consider crotch-less panties (keeping in mind that any dance moves resulting in your legs fleeing in the opposite direction will most definitely have it’s grand reveal in an email the next day….pun  intended)

Some important items to consider taking with:

-          A pack of tissues or wet wipes -smudged lipstick is a dead giveaway!

-          Condom/s – always be safe!

-          Breath mints – The lingering cheese & chives dip you indulged in earlier may not…go down so well…

Last, but not least, be sure to take along a wicked imagination!

Where & When

When you arrive make sure you explore your options in terms of private areas. You don’t want to waste time later finding a secluded spot. The best way to do this is to take a stroll pretending you are on a private call (remember to put your phone on silent). If it’s the first time your partner visits your offices, offer to go show them around. It’s best to do this as soon as you arrive and to announce it in front of some colleagues. Making this suggestion late in the evening is just a little obvious.

A private office or boardroom with a door that can lock is first prize, but if this is not an option make sure that wherever you are that you will be able to be alerted to someone approaching (they may need to switch on a light, or open a door etc.).

Also make very sure that your “play area” is not monitored by a security camera!

Once you are ready, give each other a predetermined signal, or send the other person a discreet text. Make sure you are not together at that point and excuse yourself from the conversation by using the “I have to make a quick call” excuse.

The best time to make your escape is when people are having the most fun. This could be during a great song that fills up the dance floor, or when the bar is really busy.

Although it may be difficult to prolong your intimate moment, try not to jump into action too early. People tend to be more settled later in the evening, reducing the risk of an office “explorer” stumbling onto you.

The Main Event

This is no time for foreplay. The rules of OPS are quite clear on this matter, get in and get out!

The ideal scenario is one filled with adrenaline fueled passion and carnal bliss. It’s a moment lasting no longer than 10 minutes, where the excitement of half naked self restraint erupts in a breathless climax while the thought of being caught with your pants down holds some inexplicable erotic value.

Unfortunately cuddling time is replaced simultaneously straightening out your clothes and gaining composure as you formulate a re-entering strategy…..for the party!

OPS will most definitely add some spice to your sex life, but remember, walking into the office the next morning wearing your secret “Been There, Done That” t-shirt is far better than walking in with a brown paper bag over your head as you recite your apologies.

Boudoir & Intimate Photography

Mention sensual photography and for many of us it conjures up memories involving one too many bottles of red wine, some lingerie and a disposable camera, followed by a custody battle for the negatives the next morning.

Historically a boudoir was a lady’s private dressing room often used to spend some private time with her romantic partner. Recently, boudoir denotes a busy, rich-pastel coloured decorating style inspired by the Renaissance period involving soft romantic details, candles, expensive fabric and large furniture covered in notes of gold, making it the perfect setting for sensual photography.

Boudoir Photography translates to suggestive photos, where nudity is implied, set against a backdrop as described above.

A local Google search will reveal that this form of photography has become very popular and it is with good reason. Boudoir photography gives everyone the opportunity to explore their sensual side in a safe, comfortable and fun environment. The notion of having risqué photos taken carries a sense of secret, seductive intimacy. It can be just as powerful as wearing erotic lingerie while spending your day in the boardroom.

If you are still not sure whether you should do it, imagine your partner leaving for a business trip. When they arrive at their hotel, while unpacking, they find one of these seductive photos of you with a note telling them you look forward to have them home again. The visual tasteful reminder of what they are missing out makes it more than worth it!

Selecting a Photographer

Most of us aren’t built like Kate Moss, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have what makes us sensual and beautiful captured on film. A good photographer will know just how to capture your sexiness, highlighting your best features, the ones your partner loves you for.

Any reputable photographer will have an online portfolio you can browse. Take some time and do your research.

A Gumtree ad by a guy fondly known as Mike “The Hammer” offering to take your pictures in his basement is probably not what you are looking for.

Finally, if you are unsure whether your boyfriend or husband will have an issue with another guy taking photos of you in lingerie, it may be best to first discuss it with them or to look for a female photographer.

Nude or Not

Boudoir & Sensual photographers build their reputation not only by the quality of their photos, but also based on how comfortable they make their customers feel. Photographers generaly know most of us are self-conscious and not particularly comfortable exposing our love handles. As result, they usually go out of their way to make the experience fun and exciting.

At the end of the day, it’s your decision and you should be comfortable with your decision to get the most out of your studio session.

General Tips & Hints

  • Ask the photographer what you need to take with to the shoot
  • Get a list of all their costs upfront. Some photographers offer re-touching for free, while others charge a small fee.
  • If you don’t have sexy lingerie, it’s a good idea to invest in some for the shoot
  • Although you can do your own make-up, some photographers offer this as a service due to the fact that make-up may need to be darker than usual to show up properly in the photos
  • If you are not comfortable going to the studio ask if you can select the location, for example, your own bedroom.
  • Couples are mostly welcome, but be sure to confirm beforehand

Whether it’s a gift, a reminder or just to tease your partner before the wedding, intimate photography is for everyone, no matter how old you are or how you look…you are beautiful!

Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

Literary euphoria or pure marketing genius, the fact is E L James’s Fifty Shades of Grey has taken the world by storm. Swept up in the Harry Potter-like frenzy, we picked up a copy and devoured it in a few hours expecting to conclude our satisfied curiosity at the end with an “A-ha! Now we know what the fuss is all about” moment.

But quite frankly, we’re fifty shades of stumped!

Literature student Anastasia Steele meets the mysterious and intimidating successful entrepreneur, Christian Grey when she interviews him on behalf of her roommate. Her lack of preparation and instant attraction to Mr Grey sees her leaving the interview embarrassed, an intense discomfort, which is soon forgotten by the realisation that she will never need to see him again.

The next day young Mr Grey coincidentally bumps into Ana, making her “never” a short-lived presumption. From here the story unfolds at a steady pace following the two characters down a path of sexual discovery as their relationship evolves into a complex state of blissful torment.

Narrating the story from a first person perspective, Ana places her emotional identity at risk while her desires force her to become submissive to the dominant world of Grey, leaving him struggling to control the unfamiliar emotions she ignites within him.

At the centre of the story is a contract that offers resolution to the emotional turmoil, one that may require a psychological sacrifice. With her sexual desire holding the pen, will she sign?

As you can see, the story is a great recipe for an erotic dish that’s laced with flavours of fantasy, mystery and psychological drama. As with any recipe, the key to its success lies within the ingredients and the way they come together.

Although the author establishes the two characters as complex individuals through physical actions, she fails to develop them accordingly due to unrealistic personality traits. Dull and brief, the frequent sex scenes do little to distract one from the constant repetitive use of words and expressions that bind the pages together. The writing style is amateur at best, making it evident that this is E L James’s first novel.

At this point you are obviously wondering: “If it’s so bad, then why is it so good?”

Stumped? We know the feeling….

After struggling with this conundrum for a while, it soon became apparent that the answer is much simpler than anticipated. E L James wrote a book that is pure genius in its amateur simplicity.

Her use of a level headed innocent all-round girl next door makes it easy for women to relate to. Christian Grey is a powerful, wealthy man that has age and looks on his side. Sure, he has some issues, but that adds to the attraction based on the premise that women have a perceived inherent need to fix what another woman has broken. Again, easy to relate to.

Then there is the sex. She allows us to peek into the forbidden world of BDSM without being judged. Although BDSM does not appeal to everyone, most people can relate to the fact that they are certainly curious about it. For the first time they get a mainstream view of this world in the privacy of their own home and in the safety of their imagination.

Although Fifty Shades of Grey is not going to make you rush out for cable ties and some rope in the hope that you get punished, it will most certainly give you a different perspective. To a certain degree it may even make you re-evaluate the self-inflicted limits you have placed on your own sex life, even if just on a fantasy level.

We bet Stanley Kubrick threw an afterlife hissy-fit due to the fact that he is not here to direct the forthcoming film based on the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.

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